Bad day

Weighted myself and it's not good 147.4 ugh seriously !!!!

Best day

Well today i weighted myself and to my surprise both my scales were 146.8 feels good to see those numbers go down. I have been in a weight plateau for months now and although i saw many articles about how to surpass and break the plateau my mind can't process the idea of increasing your calorie intake , i know is correct but it just doesn't process in my mind.  I have a friend that was in the same plateau as me. She called me to tell me we need to change our calorie intake etc , i told her look you do it how you can and i'll do it how i can.  So i decided to stop texting her and calling her to talk about our weight it kinda became a competition of some sort in my part so i got a little distant from her . She hasn't seen me for the whole month i haven't told her i am not on plateau mode anymore but i'll just wait until we see each other again , Maybe later this week, for now i have to keep on being strong and keep focus.

Constant Struggle

My biggest fear is to go back to the way i was , every time i go out with friends , my bf , my family i always have that battle inside my mind , To eat or not to eat all that fat greasy food? I will not deny that i have been through many binge eating followed by purging for feeling guilty. I'm trying my best to change that and instead focusing on exercising more. Losing became an obsession , after my second child at 27 years old i noticed i had gotten bigger than i ever was in my entire life , let's see 27 years old , 5'3 height , and 220 lbs which is very excessive for a chick my height. So i decided that it was time to start my dieting again and wasn't going to stop until i got to my goal which at first it was only going from 220 lbs to 215 lbs. Hey i needed to start small. So started counting calories , doing cardio online, I was too embarrassed to go to any gym , Those first 5 lbs made me realize i still got had it in me and i can still lose more. So i started writing my goals little by little in about 5 months i had lost over 60lbs going from 220 to 160 lbs. Till this day i haven't gotten to my goal so i am still fighting battles everyday. I actually gained a few lbs since i gotten laid off and went up to 168 lbs which was scaring me because it was 2 lbs away from 170. Right then i decided to stop and pursue my goal of one day being at least 140 , that was a month ago when i was 168 and as of today i am 148.4 lbs which is not too bad to lose in a month. I will post some pics of my before and after like i said i still haven't gotten to my goal , but will pursue until i get there :)

Battle : The Early Years

All my life I have been an overweight person , I don't remember the day I felt pretty growing up and everyone will tell me you are so pretty but you would be beautiful if you would lose weight and be skinny , family members always comparing me with my cousins , my parents comparing me to my sisters etc . I guess that's the main reason I started going to church at a young age around 13 years old , seeking for a higher power that could do a miracle on me , obviously it didn't work like that , I stopped going to church at Age 20. I started hanging out with a punk crowd started partying , clubbing but I noticed my weight was always the problem no guys would notice a fat obese chick , I started counting calories , exercising after losing weight I started getting some confidence I. I believe I was 210 lbs at age 20 so I went down to 155 lbs I think that is the lowest I got and even though it isn't a low weight # , those years I felt good point is two years past by and I let myself go. Went back to the same fat obese ugly Liz a.k.a Free Willy .